Summer Invasion
by Kitty Kat 277
Summary: This is a recount of some of the many fun things that happened during Zim and Gir's summer vacation. Involving pools, playgrounds, chaos, and waffles! Suckish summary, but please read!
1. prolouge

Okay, this is my first ever fanfic, and if you don't like it, too bad! Don't read it! This is a story about Zim and Gir's first summer vacation, and there are going to be many chapters!

**Summer Invasion**

**Prologue**

Tick…Tock…Tick…Tock…

Zim growled. How _dare_ that clock keep him waiting! What power did it have? If only lasers were allowed in this shark tank the humans called "skool"-he would've destroyed that infernal contraption from day one.

'Oh well' he thought, 'At least this is the last day I have to hear it…although, I would've enjoyed destroying it…'

Zim hadn't learned everything he should've about human schools, so he thought he would only be there for one year at each school. He was convinced that this was his last year in grade school.

He looked around at the filthy human-worm-babies surrounding him that he was supposed to have befriended…as if that would ever happen! He was far more superior than them, for he was Zim! He hated them, and they hated him. They had called him many dirty names during the year.

That's when Zim grinned, a nasty plot for revenge forming…he was going to get back at those name callers by playing their game.

Zim poked the Dib-filth in the back of the head with his pencil (Dib had been a major name caller that year).

"What?" Dib hissed.

"You're a duck." Zim hissed back.

Dib blinked, confused, then whispered "I'm a…duck?"

"Yes! You are a duck!" Zim announced loudly. The rest of the extremely bored class looked over, itching for excitement.

Meanwhile, Zim was being very proud of himself for remembering that Dib had called him that…or was it something else? He had a growing feeling that wasn't the right word.

"I don't have any idea what you're going on about", Dib hissed threateningly, refusing to raise his voice, "but I swear to you, that if you make me look bad in front of my peers, I'll hunt you down and-"

"DIB'S A DUCK! GAZ IS AN ITCH! YOU'RE ALL-" Zim started screaming, but was interrupted by the bell.

"YES!" He screeched. "GOOD-BYE, STUPID HUMAN CHILD FILTH!"

Zim then proceeded to race around the room in circles, laughing manically, before racing through the door and out of the skool. He was so absorbed in himself, he forgot his backpack. Dib noticed this, then grabbed it, opened the window, and threw it so hard at Zim that it knocked him down, and landed on top of his head. Even with his head under the backpack, Zim continued laughing uncontrollably.

The dumbfounded teacher blinked, then said to the class (who were staring openmouthed at Dib, Zim, and/or the window) "Um, well, you are dismissed…have a great summer and (she lowered her voice) watch out for him…I think he's psycho!"

"I heard that!" Zim screamed, before racing off with Gir, who'd been hanging around at the playground in the back of the skool.

And so began summer vacation.

Okay, I hoped you like that! The next chapter will be involving pools or playgrounds...or both!


	2. Pirate Problem

Okay, this is the first chapter! I'm so excited!

**Chapter One-Pirate Problems**

"We're flying!" GIR yelled.

He was racing through the house with one of his rubber piggies, attempting to fly. Attempting to fly was a popular way for GIR to kill time while Zim was out (this time, he was picking up soda for their movie marathon).

"WHEEE!" GIR laughed as he catapulted onto the couch. When he bounced, he got an idea.

"You stay here Piggy!" he said, petting the little pink piggy before sitting him in a safer place (which was in a shoebox). He raced back to the couch, and jumped as hard as he possibly could (which was pretty hard), and cleared the top of it. He tried again, and this time reached his goal: the ceiling fan.

GIR held onto the two chains, and pulled one, which happened to be the one that started the fan.

"I'M FLYING!" he howled in delight as the fan rotated. After about five minutes of spinning and giggling, GIR was interrupted by a knock on the door.

"GIR, I'm home!" Zim called, opening the door.

"MASTER!" Gir flung himself from the fan and gave Zim the ultimate hug, knocking him flat. They laid there for a minute, GIR cuddling Zim, who was trying not to slap the little robot.

"Um, GIR? Could you please get off me?" Zim asked nicely, even though he was gritting his teeth.

"Master!" GIR repeated, "I missed you!"

"That's great GIR , but-"

"I said I missed you!" GIR said, squeezing Zim harder, "Didn't you miss me?"

"Yes, GIR, but you're hurting me." Zim said, breathless from being squeezed.

"Sorry Master….Guess what?" GIR said, releasing Zim from his bear-hug.

"What GIR?" Zim sighed.

"I made WAFFLES!" GIR announced proudly.

"Don't you always?" Zim muttered before dropping onto the couch. He popped the top of a soda, and turned on the movie channel. GIR leaped up onto the couch with the shoe-box the piggy was in. Zim gave him a look, but didn't ask. He just turned his attention to the pirate movie on the TV.

Before the first scene was over, Zim had downed the whole case of soda, and was babbling to GIR about the difficulties of life as an invader. GIR listened dutifully.

About twenty minutes into the movie, Zim passed out from soda overload. GIR, however, watched the movie all the way to the end, learning pirate talk and other stuff. When the credits came on, GIR poked his master with the shoe-box his piggy was in. When Zim didn't wake up, GIR ran out the door at top speed.

Three hours later, Zim woke up to find GIR gone and some old ninja movie on the TV. Confused, he sat up, looking around for the little robot.

"GIR!" he called groggily.

No answer.

"_GIR_!" he called, louder this time.

Still no answer.

'_Great_', he thought, '_He's playing hide and seek again….better go find him.' _Zim rolled off the couch and onto the floor. It took him a while to get his soda-wasted self off the ground.

When he finally got up, Zim wandered through the house, searching for GIR, whom he was convinced was hiding. He passed a window, and saw something odd.

There was a boat.

In the yard.

And Gir was at the wheel, decked out in pirate clothes.

"GIR!" Zim yelled. GIR looked up, an eye-patch covering one of his bright blue eyes.

"What's wrong, Master?" GIR asked innocently.

"Where did you get that boat, GIR?" Zim demanded.

"I commandeered it." GIR explained.

"You…what?" Zim asked, wishing he'd learned pirate talk from that movie.

"I commandeered it from the neighbors."

"And…the clothes, too?" Zim asked, unaware they had neighbors, let alone pirate neighbors.

"Yep." GIR said simply, before turning back to the wheel of the speedboat, singing the Doom Song.

Zim blinked, then decided he was dreaming. He trekked drunkenly back to the couch, where he (once again) passed out. He woke up again later, and there was GIR, hugging his piggy (still in the shoebox), and watching the sequal to the pirate movie.

"GIR?" Zim asked.

"Yes?" GIR asked, cocking his head.

" Is the boat still out there?"

"What boat?" GIR asked, confused.

"Never mind." Zim said simply, then settled down to watch the movie, hoping he wouldn't have any more fever dreams.


	3. playground pandemonium

Chapter Two: Playground Pandemonium

Zim and GIR were watching the news. Apparently, a new playground had been opened in the empty lot one block away from their house. Zim could really care less, but not GIR.

"Can we go?" GIR asked.

"No, GIR, I'm busy-"

"Please? PLEASE? _PLEASE_?" GIR begged.

"I said n-"

" I said PLEASE, what more do you want from me?" GIR demanded, before racing up the stairs. _Great_, Zim thought, then felt guilty and called, "All right, GIR! We'll go!"

"Yay!" GIR laughed, suddenly beside Zim, who screamed in surprise. When he'd calmed down, he asked GIR how he did that.

" 'Cuz I'ma NINJA!" GIR shrieked.

Later, Zim and GIR walked the short distance to the playground, where several kids had gathered and were playing on the equipment. Zim walked right past the rules sign. Personally, he didn't give a muffin about the humans rules, and besides, it was his vacation; he might as well break a few rules.

"Now GIR, I need you to find out as much as you can about-"

"I'ma go slidin'!" GIR announced. He ran over to the nearest slide, much to Zim's annoyance. GIR waited in line for a ridiculously long time, before Zim intervened.

"GIR! That is not how you get through a line! You do it like _this_…" Zim proceeded to grab GIR by his leash, pulling him through the line with one hand, pushing kids to the ground with the other. When they finally got to the top of the slide, a kid was getting ready to go.

"Move it!" Zim ordered.

"What? It's my tur-"

"I SAID MOVE IT, PUNY HUMAN CHILD!" Zim pushed the kid off the side of the slide, sick of waiting. He turned to GIR and smiled.

"See? Now you can ride it."

"Thankees!" GIR said before diving head-first down the slide. Zim followed, cheering all the way. When he stepped down off the slide, he saw the rest of the kids staring at him, opened-mouthed.

"What are you staring at? Go about your own useless business!" Zim ordered. The terrified kids pretended to be enjoying themselves.

1 hour of chaos and destruction later…

About half of the kids were laying injured on the ground, while the other half was running for the hills. Zim was standing on top of the monkey-bars, laughing loudly and manically, red spray paint can in one hand.

Written in various places on the playground were things like 'I am Zim!', 'Earth Sux!', and 'Fear me!'.

Meanwhile, GIR was swinging extremely high on a kiddy swing, screeching " WHEE-HEE-HEE!" They were both enjoying themselves very much.

And then the cops showed up.

"Excuse me." the officer said.

"Yes officer?" Zim asked innocently.

"We've been getting a lot of complaints."

"Complaints?" Zim asked, keeping up the innocent act, hiding the spray paint behind his back.

"Yes, complaints." He looked around the playground at the destruction Zim had caused, then said, " Did you even _read this?" The officer tapped the rules sign with one eyebrow raised._

"Ummmm…."

" 'Rule One: No domestic violence.'" The officer read, looking at the kids groaning on the ground.

"How do you know they didn't do that themselves?" Zim smiled.

Again the eyebrow went up.

"'Rule Two: No Pets.'" The officer glanced at GIR, and so did Zim. GIR announced "I'ma toy, not a doggy!" Zim gave him a thumbs up.

Once more, the officer raised his eyebrow. The motion was really getting on Zim's nerves.

"'Rule Three: No vandalism.'" Zim only grinned defiantly at that.

The officer started to raise his eyebrow again, but Zim beat him to it. GIR waltzed over and started doing it too. The man blinked, then told them to stop.

"Why?" Zim demanded, brow in the air. GIR giggled.

"Because I'm a policeman, and I told you to!"

"You're doomed." Zim smiled.

"…what?''

"You…are…DOOMED! GIR, sing the Doom Song to his doomed face!"

"Okey-Dokey!" GIR grinned, then started singing:

"Doom doom doom, doomy doom doom…"

"Stop that!" the officer growled.

"Doom doom, doom-doom-doom-doom…."

"I said STOP THAT! Now get out of here before I arrest you both!" the man yelled over GIR's singing.

Zim then proceeded to walk backwards, eyebrow still raised, chanting "Doom…doom…doom…" while GIR skipped beside him, still singing the doom song.

The officer stared after them, agape, until they vanished behind a fence. He could still hear Zim chanting, even from a distance.

He shook his head as he helped kids up off the ground, amazed at how much damage one kid could do.

Okies, hope you like that chapter! It's my fave so far! *walks away with eyebrow raised*


	4. StupidMart

Okies, this chapter involves more stuff from the show than the last ones…hope you like it!

Stupid-Mart

Zim was in his lair, working on his latest idea: water block. It was a paste/chemical compound that would repel water from his body. He glanced at the clock, and jolted: he'd been working for four hours. He decided to call it quits, then ordered the elevator to take him up to the house. When he stepped out of the trash can, his day got a whole lot worse. Why? Because he stepped in a pile of waffles.

He stared around, open-mouthed, at the kitchen, which was completely buried in waffles.

"GIR!" He yelled, fuming.

GIR popped out from under a nearby pile of waffles, eyes glowing red. He saluted, then said, "Yes sir!"

"Why is the kitchen covered in human food?"

GIR's eyes turned back to blue, and he said, "I LOVE WAFFLES!"

Zim pinched the skin between his eyes, growling.

"Come, GIR! We must go to the store so you don't starve!" He announced, grabbing his contacts and wig off the table. He needed something to do anyway.

"Yay, starving!" GIR yelled, zipping up his costume.

"No, GIR, that's a bad thing." Zim said, clipping a leash on GIR.

_At the store…_

Zim marched through the front door (which had a sign that said 'Pets allowed'), dragging GIR behind him. The welcoming dude took one look at Zim, smiled, and said, "Hello young man! Would you like a sticker?"

"SILENCE, PUNY HUMAN!"

"Um, sorry dude. Does your dog want one?"

Zim glanced at GIR, who smiled.

"Yes, he would." Zim said.

The guy handed GIR a sticker. Zim stared at him for a few seconds. The guy blinked, then said "What?"

"I never said he only wanted on; give me MORE, welcoming drone!"

_Ten minutes of harassment later…_

GIR was busy sticking some of the stickers from the huge roll on himself, the merchandise, and his master's head, when Zim stopped in the middle of the store; he had just realized that he had no idea where the waffles were. Aggravated, he stopped the nearest human, demanding to know where the breakfast items were. The human turned out to be Gaz, and she was with Dib.

"See!" Dib said, pointing accusingly at Zim. "Normal humans would know where the breakfast food is! I'm telling you, he's an alien!"

"Quiet Dib. You and me both know that they just remodeled this store. I don't even know where half of the stuff on the list is." Gaz said, not bothering to look up from her Game Slave.

Zim stuck his tongue out at Dib, and GIR mimicked him, giggling. Dib glared, then got an idea: he would make GIR talk; that would make Gaz believe him(…probably… ).

"Gaz! Ask the dog if it talks!"

"…should I even respond to that?" Gaz muttered, then decided to give Dib some satisfaction. She hit pause on her game, then looked at GIR incredulously.

"Do you talk?" she asked.

"NOPE!" GIR shrieked.

Gaz rotated to look at Dib, who was staring at her triumphantly. Time to shatter his hopes, she thought.

"See? He said he doesn't talk." she said simply, turning her game back on.

Dib gaped, then said, "But-but he had to _say_ that for you to know! Come _on _Gaz, how can you not believe me when you just witnessed it for yourself?"

Gaz sighed, then said, "I don't believe you, because you're crazy, Dib. You spend your free time spying on the new kid and his dog."

Zim, who had been watching in interest, laughed loudly, pointing at Dib, who was gaping again at Gaz. GIR laughed too, even though he had no idea what was going on.

"But, I'm not crazy! I've seen them with my own eyes without those disguises, I'm not crazy I-"

"I don't want to, but I will doom you Dib." Gaz said threateningly.

Dib finally got quiet.

Gaz started to walk away, then stopped and told Zim that the waffles were in the frozen section. Zim nodded, then, when Gaz turned away and started walking off, Dib did the "I'm watching you" thing with two fingers to Zim, who stuck his tongue out once more at Dib.

Zim kept his tongue out for at least two minutes after Dib left.

"WAFFLES!" GIR yelled randomly.

_At the checkout… _

Zim put three huge cases of frozen waffles, ten cases of mix, and a brand new waffle iron up on the checkout thing; the last waffle iron had had an unfortunate accident involving a rubber pig and a laser.

He dug around in his pocket, mumbling "Hmmm…" a lot as he did it, then handed the money to the cashier. He looked up, and was surprised to find himself face-to-face with Mrs. Bitters.

Zim's first reaction? A scream. He held it for five or six minutes before Ms. Bitters raised an eyebrow, then said over him, "Almost done?"

Zim held up a finger, then screamed for a little while longer. He stopped abruptly, then said "What are YOU doing here?"

"I have a life too, Zim, even if it is a miserable, hopelessly boring one." Ms. Bitters said, accepting Zim's money.

Determined to make normal conversation, he asked, " So…where were you on the last day?"

"I couldn't stand being near you horrible, mangy beasts for one more day, so I started my vacation early." she said, handing him his change. Zim pocketed it, then grabbed his bags, announcing, " I will be LEAVING now, teacher human!"

"Whatever, Zim. Just don't get stuck in the door on the way out."

Zim marched towards the door, bags in one hand, GIR's leash in the other. They passed the sticker guy, curled up in the fetal position, muttering to himself. He screamed when Zim walked by; Zim laughed, amused. If only he could get the rest of the humans to fear him like that…oh, well. They would eventually.

Since they didn't have a car, they started walking home. Zim grinned at GIR, then said, "That went well!"

"WAFFLES!" GIR screamed again, biting into a frozen toaster waffle.

Okay, that was really long…if you have any ideas for where they should go next, pm me!


	5. Taco Machine of DOOOM!

**Taco Machine of DOOM!**

Zim was in his lab, mixing two very explosive chemicals together when he heard GIR scream.

It wasn't a scream of fear or anything, but it was loud enough to make Zim drop the vials. The first one exploded, and the other made a gaping hole in the floor.

"GIR! HOW DARE YOU INTERRUPT MY MIXING OF THE CHEMICALS OF DOOM! GET DOWN HERE _NOW_!" Zim yelled, fuming.

A few seconds later, GIR blasted through the ceiling (making yet another hole Zim would have to fix).

"GIR! Why were you screaming? And-"

"No time!" GIR yelled, grabbing Zim by the collar of his shirt. He blasted back through the whole, up into the house, and finally onto the couch. When Zim stopped screaming, he demanded some things from GIR.

"What are you doing? Why did you take me here? And-"

GIR pointed at the TV, shushing Zim furiously. "It's starting!"

Some Crazy Taco commercial came on, blasting aggravating music. Zim's eye twitched.

"You made me destroy the lab, dragged me through the house, and stretched out my collar just so I could watch some commercial?"

"Yes! GIR said, glued to the TV screen.

"Why did you feel it necessary to-"

"LOOK! I GOTTA HAVE IT!" GIR screamed, pointing at the screen.

The Crazy Taco guy was showing some machine. He informed the people watching that it made tacos when you hit a button. GIR grinned ecstatically, pointing with both hands.

"I'm not buying that." Zim said simply.

GIR looked totally flabbergasted. He gasped like he couldn't breathe, then through the remote at the wall (it made a third hole and knocked off the head of a gnome). He caught his breath, then screamed:

"TACOOOOOOOOOOOS! I NEED MY TACOOOOOOOOOOS!"

"No you don't! He is not you're master! I am, and you're supposed to listen to me when I tell you no!"

"TACOOOOOOOOOS!" GIR shouted again.

"No GIR! We are not buying that thing!"

"I MUST OBEY THE TACO MAN! AGHHHHHH!" GIR screeched.

"I SAID NO! OBEY ME!" Zim shouted.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I GOTTA HAVE TACOOOOOOOS!"

"GIR! CALM DOWN FOR A SECOND!"

"Okay!" GIR said, sitting down. Zim reached in his pockets, then informed GIR that he didn't have any more money; he'd spent it all on the last food epidemic (refer to the previous chapter).

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-"

"GIR, stop doing that!"

"-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I NEED MY TACOS _NOW_!"

Zim hissed, then put on his disguise.

"Come on GIR! We're going to get some money to buy your ridiculous taco….thing!"

"YAY!" GIR yelled, grabbing Zim's head in a very violent bear hug. "I love you!" he said. Zim pushed him off, then grabbed a leash off of the table.

Ten minutes later…..

Zim rang the doorbell, and Professor Membrane answered it.

"Oh, hello! You're Dib's foreign friend right? Hey, can I tell you about a new project I'm working on? It's about…._space weasels_!" Lightning crackled around the professor's head.

Zim stared at him curiously for a few seconds. "Sounds great. Is Dib here?" He said, trying to look around him.

"Yes he is! I'll go get him; you stay here!" (what, did he think he was going to run away or something?) Professor Membrane through two smoke balls on the ground, then vanished.

When the dust cleared, Dib was standing there with a look on his face that would have been creepy to most people, but this was Zim. He only found it annoying.

"Zim! What're you doing at my house?" Dib demanded.

"I require your money!" Zim announced. GIR clapped ecstatically, cheering him on.

"Why? Can you not afford your latest scheme? If that's the case then you should just forget it!"

"That is not the case! I need it for a taco machine!" Zim yelled, pointing accusingly at Dib for no real reason.

"….O-_kay_. Well, I'm still not helping you. Why should I in the first place? I hate-"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" GIR screamed, "I NEED MY TACOOOOOOOOS! AUGHHHHHHH! AGHHHHHHHH! _AGHHHHHHHHHH_-"

"SILENCE GIR!" Zim shouted. GIR got quite, but looked furious in his own way.

"_That," _Zim said, pointing at GIR, "is why you should help me."

Dib rubbed his ears, which he was sure were bleeding, then pulled out his wallet. He wasn't happy about it, but he asked Zim how much it was.

"Fourteen ninety-five and-GIMME THAT!" Zim yelled, snatching the wallet with the Swollen Eyeball symbol on it out of Dib's hand.

"Hey!" Dib yelled indignantly.

Zim didn't hear him; he was too busy racing down the hill, wallet over his head held in both hands, laughing wildly. GIR was chasing after him.

"Zim! Give it back!"

"WHAAAAT?" Zim yelled back.

"I said give it back!"

"I CAN'T HEAR YOU, BUT I'M GOING TO GUESS THAT YOU'RE COMMENTING ON HOW DEVIOUS AND BRILLIANT I AM!"

"What are you even talking about? I said to give me back my wallet!"

"REALLY DIB, STOP GROVELING! ITS HUMILIATING TO WATCH! Hmm…..ON SECOND THOUGHT, KEEP GOING!"

Dib slammed the door shut angrily, then flopped down on a chair across the kitchen table from Gaz.

"What was that all about?" she asked, pausing her game.

"Zim stole my wallet so he could buy his dog a taco machine." Dib grumbled.

"Well good for him. He actually accomplished something." she said, starting her game back up.

Dib brushed that off, then leaned back in his chair with a sigh.

Three seconds later, the chair fell back onto the ground with a thump.

From the ground, Dib moaned, "Its just not my day…."

Gaz sprayed him with her Cherry Poop, and said, "Its never your day Dib."

Okay, I enjoyed using the Caps lock key in this chapter! I'ma do it again! HEY! LOOK AT THIS! I'M TYPING IN CAPS! WOOOOOOOOO! …okay, I'm done now…..


End file.
